It is something my mother created when deep in the throes of potty training and sleepless nights. To retain her sanity she would journal each nap time, putting the notes in a green binder folder. As my sisters and I grew up it eventually became something my mom would pull out at the end of the day to jot down funny things we said. For my high school graduation in (ahem) 2000 she had typed and chronologically organised the whole thing and gave me a copy.
To this day when I want a good laugh I can simply go and look up things crazy 5 year old Jordan did i.e.: wash her sisters hair in the vaporiser; get stitches in chin from an incident with a cannon at Veterans Park; jump in a trash can to catch a boys attention only to fall out of it fully breaking her dignity (that may or may not have been 14 year old Jordan).
So I have one started for our children.
But my memory has gone the way of the buffalo these days.
(is that an acceptable metaphor?)
So when something happens that makes Mark and I cackle the iPad is usually within reach to write these down.
Because one of my favourite things to do in life is laugh, I thought I'd share a section straight from my iPad with you:
Things I Never Thought I'd Say:
(and then I became a mother)
- Be careful not to step on daddy's head.
- I guess you're not big enough for Chapstick yet (this has been said too many times to count--shame on me)
- I don't care what you did or didn't touch, wash your hands after going potty.
- Don't repeat what mommy says. ("CR@P!")
- (in exasperation) You're acting like a 3 year old. (he was 2 at the time)
- Please smell your sister and tell me if she's stinky.
- We don't stand on DVD's.
- Grrrrrooooosssss....drain that water and we'll fill up the bath again.
- Any toy on your floor in 2 minutes will go into my trash bag.
- Do NOT get off the toilet until someone wipes you.
- Did you leave your good cowboy hat outside? Wonderful, the dog just ripped the brim off.
- Don't pull (his) hair.
- UGH, you just went potty on my couch!
- We only write on paper.
- Please don't lick the table.
- Do NOT stand on mommy's rolling pins.
- Caedmon! Why is the toilet seat wet?!?!
- I told you, you don't force people to kiss you.
- We don't say, 'Oh my gosh', Nessie.
Nessie, "Oh, only if your name is Jordan?"
I'll keep the list going and periodically share.
Because if you can't laugh at your life you might as well laugh at mine.
Cast of Characters:
These kids deserve all the credit for all those things I never thought I'd say...
Not quite yet with this one, but she's cute.
The original Green Book Girls (Jordan, Jillian, & Catlin).
As you may well tell which one of us is the rabble rouser here.
Mark uses the term "rabble rouser" and I laugh at it every time...
Just for kicks...here's 5/7 of the Anderson kids,
my handsome husband being the one on the far right...