Unintentional Dumpster Diving

I have SO missed writing on this blog!

But when I have to tether my big computer to my phone to get 3G internet, because we live without wifi it's just a hassle, you know? 

But guess what? 

It's not a hassle tonight!

And that is because of the reason called "procrastination." 

Which is a fancy way of saying, "laundry swallowed my couch."

So after a few months hiatus 

(fancy way of saying the couch was identifiable because it wasn't Laundry Mountain), 

I have returned with a story that to this day makes me roll my eyes and cringe.

In Jr. High I think we’ve all made decisions we’ve regretted. Like the time I clamped my bangs in the curling iron and then curled them opposite direction ensuring I had bangs with a ridge at the ends all day long. 

I had no idea what I’d done wrong.

Airdrie's Story: God has a purpose for every unborn child

This post originally appeared on our blog June 17, 2015 on the second anniversary of us finding out of a "problem" with my pregnancy. Today, October 24, 2016, marks Airdrie Abileen's 3rd birthday--praise be to God.

Just over three years ago our world tilted on its axis. We lived in Houston, Texas, I was 20 weeks pregnant with our 4^th child, and we had just been in to receive our anatomy ultrasound. This is the scan where the baby’s major organs are checked. We had the scan done at a special ultrasound clinic and our biggest decision that day was whether to find out the gender of the baby or not. We choose both and had the technician write the results on a yellow sticky note and I placed in my purse. 

The next day Mark and I were out trying to finalize the sale of our two vehicles and had stopped to eat lunch when my obstetrician called us. I quickly stepped out of the restaurant to more clearly hear. Just in time to hear the Dr when she said, “All the measurements look good with the baby and everything looks up to date... However, the technician did find a spot in the brain. You’re going to need a level 2 scan to address this.” 

Meeting Our Miracle: Airdrie's Birth Story Part 1

This post first appeared on our blog November 10, 2013, just a few weeks after the birth of our fourth child, Airdrie. At the time we were missionaries living in northeastern Scotland.


 It's been a while...Mark and I have lived several months in the past few weeks!
This post will be extensive, but full of pictures for those who enjoy the break in my ramblings! Also, I'm including birth details using words like "cervix, dilation" and "birth canal." If this doesn't suit your taste exit while you still can and visit our FaceBook page for the benign details of the past weeks. :)

Monday, and Tuesday October 14-15 my parents along with my sisters, Jillian and Catlin flew in to Aberdeen, Scotland so they could be a part of what we thought was birth week! I was scheduled to be induced at 4pm on Wednesday, October 16th.
*I was to be induced at 38 weeks gestation because at this point we knew our baby girl had Dandy-Walker Malformation in her cerebellum. When there are deformities present the risk of stillbirth in a infant left to go 40 weeks gestation or beyond significantly increases. We needed to get this baby here soon!

There was general shenanigans and fun as the aunts and grandma and papa revealed they had all packed in their carry-on luggage and all other suitcases were FILLED with presents from America! We had cake mixes, candy, Pumpkin spice---everything, maple syrup, Italian and Ranch dressing packets, and Halloween goodies.

Grandma also brought over a tin filled with buttons for the girls. They love this and love to scatter buttons ALL over the house!

The Worst Decision I've Ever Made (before a wrestling meet) |Cheerleading Tales from the Crypt Part 3|

In this installment I’ll tell you about the worst decision I ever made before going to a wrestling meet. 

When I was a high school girl I was much like I am now.

Except now I found an additional 30 pounds, 

Except now I know how to do winged eye liner,

Except now I shave EVERY time I shower.

Please refrain from commenting, that last one is essential information to this story.

We cheered for wrestling at our high school. 

Our wrestlers were very good, taking the State Championship my senior year.

Why do I tell you this? So you know that this sporting event drew a larger than usual crowd at our high school.

This is probably why this story is in my “embarrassing moments” collection.

No matter our hectic schedules our family almost always sat down to dinner during the week. It would be maybe an hour of quiet with the family then we were off and running again. 

This particular night I had a wrestling meet to be at by 7. 

Now I may or may not struggle with punctuality.

No, that’s not right.

I may. 

I do.

I’m always late.

We’ll go into reasons for this at another time. 

I’m convinced it’s a problem I have with math, my husband might tell you otherwise, but he’s not writing this blog now is he?

That winter night back in my high school days I was running late, as usual.

As I was dressing in my sleeveless cheer uniform I realized it was most likely eons (or the last home game) that I had shaved my underarms.

I ran to the bathroom and grabbed my handy single-blade disposable razor (most decidedly NOT a Venus, those weren’t invented yet).

And I proceeded to dry shave.

I shaved, and shaved, and shaved only to finally discover that dang razor was so dull you could ride it to town.

Cr@p, time was running out!

I went to plan B.

I grabbed my bottle of Nair.

Oh what, you’ve not heard of Nair?

Nair is a compound that disintegrate hair off any living animal and begins to disintegrate any flesh under the hair it happens to touch.

What could go wrong with Nair?

I slathered the foul-smelling lotion on both under arms and 2.367 seconds later…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

BURNING FLESH AFIRE!!!

A primeval scream, audible to the entire neighborhood, escaped my lips.

At that point the intense burning from my underarms had me standing over the bathroom sink splashing copious amounts of water into both pits—much like a hot monkey trying to cool itself.

Glancing at the clock I knew my beauty routine needed to have been completed 5 minutes past so I rushed to my room to put on deodorant.

It was then I realized that was not going to happen. 

In trying to shave I had scraped probably the first 6 layers of my dermis off my underarms.

In trying to Nair I had received probably 6 degree chemical burns in my underarms.

In trying to put on deodorant I realized my brand newly scraped and burned skin would take no more abuse.

I went to the meet with red, bloody-raw, non-deodorized pits… that were still not smooth-shaven...

That night I may or may not have been the T-Rex cheerleader.

DIY Main Bathroom Remodel

Many moons ago my husband and I had a hobby called:
constantly remodelling our first home.

It was actually super, SUPER fun. We bought our first home (in the USA) in 2009 and set about remodeling it from it's sad state.

We only did this about once yearly at our house for one main reason called:
tax return.

We're currently doing it in our new home but I don't want to show you that yet. I only operate on Before and After picture vibes.
Right now I only have Before pictures and if I showed y'all those you'd live your lives in horrified remembrance that "Oh goodnight Moses, Mark and Jordan bought a house with TEAL carpet and gold trim EVERYTHING."

I can't stand for y'all to think that about us so I'm going to hold off on those photos.
Thanks for your cooperation.

I DO have before and after pictures of our home in Missouri so I can show you what we like to do.
Warning: Don't get y'alls hopes up; we're no Chip and Joanna Gaines....

Mark's way taller and I don't have a lick of those lovely Asian genetics in me.

Our first owned home; such fun to landscape, decorate and redo.

Photographing a River

My sisters both had babies within 6 weeks of one another in 2014. 

It was a great time for me: the time when I became a blood aunt.

Actually I don't call myself a blood aunt because that is terrifying.

Recently (ok last summer) I was able to take pictures of my niece, River. 

She's cute.

She's sassy,

She's a ginger.

Her full name is River Itasca so this means we call her: River, Riv, River Itasca, Tassy, Tass, Itasca-dera, Sassy Tassy, Sass-a-fras, Sassy Tassy Fras, Tass-a-fras,

Uhh, moving on...

At first glance the photo shoot appears to be going well.

Cheerleading Horrors (Again)

I know it's been forever since I've written and my good reason is called: no internet.

For those of you living under a rock (or are like me, without internet) you may not have know that this past fall I got the job of CHEERLEADING COACH for the middle school here in town.
WHAT?!
That's so up my alley!

Does anyone else think the phrase, "up my alley" sounds a bit crass? Or is this just the Anderson household? 
I mean "what the," 
yes, the two words "what the" 
are considered some pretty salty language around here.

Anderson, Party of 13

Recently (OK, over a month ago) we drove on over to Utah (Yew- tah for those non-familiar with the state) to visit Mark's brother and family. It had been 3 years since we've seen them and it was high time.

Matthew and Chandra live south of Salt Lake City with their 5 children. They head up the team of Plant Utah and do a great job of telling people about Jesus. They are planting a churches in the Utah Valley. 

While with them we stayed up extraordinarily late (considering we had 9 children between us all that would be wanting breakfast rather early), we laughed. 

Oh my goodness we laughed so hard. 

We made meals together, we played games together, and after the kids were in bed we drank bulletproof coffee together. 

(Don't get weird, it's coffee with coconut oil and butter in it. It is yumilicious--MY word.)

There were times I giggled knowing WE were the adults in charge.

While visiting we took advantage of fancy big cameras to take family pictures.

Matthew is a for reals photographer whose has owned a fancy camera for many a year.

I fancy myself a wannabe photographer. I've owned a big camera for a year.

I'll let you just rest on your own mercy when viewing the photos that Fatty and I have taken side by side.

Mark calls his brother Fatty, because in no way shape or form is Matthew fat. 

And ridiculous nicknames are an Anderson passion.

Right outta the shoot (chute, works also) Fatty gets a frowning 9 year old and a distracted 40 year old...

The Taste of Christmas

It has been WAY too long, people.

I miss blogging. But with no internet I've found myself out at our house at night after the kids are in bed writing in hopes that one day I'll have myself gathered enough to put said writings on a flash drive, haul all 4 kids and Mark's laptop into town, and get on wifi to post.

Today is that day.

I may or may not have showered,

I may or may not have done my hair,

But by golly I have a post for the blog.

Enjoy...

I’ll never forget the first time I tasted the flavor that said, “CHRISTMAS” and yet it was July.

The End of a Journey

Dear Supporters,
Six months have now passed since the Lord led us in the decision to transfer from Buckie, Scotland. We notified you, our supporters, as soon as we were aware there would be a change taking place and then again when we received confirmation that the change was indeed a move from Scotland to the USA.  Our move did not take place until we had fulfilled our obligations in the UK in July including Holiday Bible Club and Holiday Bible Camp.
We asked that our supporters continue the support for the next six months, or until we were called into a new ministry, whichever came first. In the six months that have elapsed since April, we have pursued several different paths into ministry

Doing the County Fair

I've shared a lot of what our life was like in Scotland, and rest assured I've taken a ridiculous amount of photos there to continue to share with y'all.

But I thought I'd swap things around and share with our friends in the UK a taste of the USA.

This may come as a shock to y'all, but we aren't big city people. 

I lived for 4 years of my life in Dallas and 8 months in Houston, Texas and those experiences fulfilled any small desire I had to live in a densely populated area. 

Sure, you have your pros, like a Hobby Lobby every 10 miles, Chick-fil-a, Chipotle, Pei Wei, Starbucks, Gigi's Cupcakes, Firehouse Subs, Whole Foods 

(Ok, well, I haven't ever been in a Whole Foods, but I have been gouged for groceries before, does that count?) 

but y'all not only does my wallet and waistline hate this, 

but there's just something about the country that appeals to me.

Here in USA it's the most wonderful time of the year--county fair time!

Bear in mind y'all a county fair tends to be small.

Each state in the USA has a LOT of counties. After the county fairs the winners go on to the state fair.

But county fair time is a super fun where my husband especially travels back his roots. 

Let's start this show off with a bang and focus on the little girl in the background instead of my boys closely examining the sheep.

Foodie: UK Style Part 3

Guys!
I just found this post buried in my drafts unedited, undone, un-posted.
This is much the way I process my laundry.

We lived in Scotland for 2 years and I took pictures of a lot of the different things we ate while there.
It is highly important to note that this and the previous posts are an accumulation of the past 730 days of meals.
Wow, sure hope I did that math right. 
If not, I'll go ahead and offer an explanation: 
my ACT math score was lower than the legal US driving age.
Don't judge me. 
I just bared my soul to you.

Follow the links to see Part 1 and Part 2;
but without further delay I present to you the final of Foodie: UK Style, Part 3.

Here we have a lovely plate of scallops and some kind of salad.

This was on the island of Orkney where we took our 10th anniversary trip.

Holiday Bible Camp

A million years later I finish our series on ALL we did in our last 2 weeks in Scotland.

I'm sorry, guys, OK? I'm sorry. 

But the History Channel isn't going to watch itself after the kids are in bed, you know.

Our last few days in Scotland were filled with Holiday Bible Camp. This is our version of church camp for the Scottish high schoolers. 

We had a great group of high schoolers who met weekly in our home the past year and a half whom we studied the Bible with, had cookie-making parties with, and ingested copious amounts of Kool-Aid with. We love those guys.

Each summer there is the Holiday Bible Club, which is a great outreach to primary (elementary) age children. Holiday Bible Camp is a direct result of wanting to give our high schoolers something as well.

This summer we had a super awesome thing called 2 groups of American high schoolers raised support to come and not only help with Holiday Bible Club but then attend Holiday Bible Camp WITH our Scottish students! 

We had so much fun.

Meet our teams:

Our Floridians, Kaylin, Mickenzie, and Danielle.

They also came with Christie and Pam, 

but do you think I got a picture of those lovely ladies?

Nope. 

Sorry, I've got issues.

Sing by the Sea

Right after Holiday Bible Club in Scotland we invited all parents, participants, workers, and dogs to a fun event called Sing by the Sea.

Sing by the Sea is held the Sunday evening following Holiday Bible Club at Roseisle Beach. 

There are pine trees all around and the dunes have spread into the trees making for an almost ethereal,  Lord of the Rings type landscape.

I loved it.

I felt my inner Arwen come out.

Quick someone get me a bow and arrows.

Club of the Bible for the Holiday

Well I'm not entirely sure why I can't do a normal title. It's not that hard.

I suppose I like to live my life in the creative fast lane. 

This just comes through into my title writing. 

Wow. What a fast lane Jordan, more like Yoda wanna-be.

Anyhow, I think we all know this post is about our recent 12th annual Holiday Bible Club.

Holiday Bible Club is a Scottish version of Vacation Bible School.

Now my most poignant memories of VBS are of watered down Kool-Aid and  one-cookie per kid rations.

Apparently food was a big deal for me even at a tender age.

If your memories of VBS are similar I want you to take your preconceived notions and throw them right out the window. 

HBC is fun. 

HBC is loud. 

HBC has awesome music. 

HBC has powerful messages of Jesus each day.

HBC even has decent snacks. 

Kool-Aid is not a UK thing so there's no danger of some well-to-do older lady in the church RUINING it with too much water. 

Yes, I should probably seek counseling for regressed feelings of animosity over the ruination of a drink.

This years theme was "Everest" and the message was daily learning aspects of God's power. 

This was a fun theme

even if I did have to paint the Himalayans on 38 billion cubic feet of cardboard.

Prep day.

Lots of fun to decorate.

Marianne, you'll ruin your teeth!

Ness testing the stage for performance purposes.

Caedmon is always a super helper.

We had a BBQ with face-painting early that morning, so pardon his face.

We decorate walls, yo.

Sorting of the mountains.

I will say the mountains look better from a distance.

So vacate your seat, step away from your computer, and squint.

Thank you for your assistance.

These look like Jordan got ahold of some paint and slapped it on cardboard haphazardly,

which I would NEVER do.

I have a real problem with artistic endeavors that take longer than 42 minutes of my life.

We hit 43 minutes and I start slopping through like jungle native with a machete.

Finished product!

And even though my husband pointed out the error that we were obviously above tree line with trees hanging out all around.

I say anytime you can use artificial Christmas trees beyond December to decorate DO IT!

Cutie pie kids.

Just say no to bird feeders and burned matchstick crosses;

no over-used VBS crafts here.

Experiments in Imagination Station all the way!

My newest BFF, Kara, and her dad, Bill ran the experiments.

I love Kara to the flag. 

Unfortunately I had to move 5,000 miles away for us to figure out we would like to be friends. 

Fun story called Bill is known to us as Dr. W because he delivered our older children.

Bless the man for knowing me in labor and still talking to me today.

Fun bubble experiments!

All loved it.

Singing and dancing, look at all those kids!

Willie and Airby being besties.

Up on stage.

Ellie and Kaitlin have some mad moves.

Taylor Devin/Devy Taylor made BFF's with ALL small children there.

My mom and the creepy Trek Rockrambler doing a sketch.

People think they can put coffee grounds on their face for an imitation beard 

and get away with anything...

including wearing their husbands clothing and acting like a man.

Airdrie Bear approximately 34 minutes before being sick in front of the crowded gym.

Awesome.

Extra mommy points when you've cleaned up Oreo throw up from in front of a crowd of a couple of hundred kids and workers.

Sharon and Nancy did the Bible time.

Sharon is a Buckie quine (queen, or girl) and Nancy is from Nigeria.

My oldest and youngest dancing together.

Be still my heart.

It was great week!

Even when grandma OK'd the playing with camp cook pots

resulting in this look for the 1 year old.

We love HBC and the revamping of Bible Schools across the world!

Highland Gaming

So I have been absent from social media, this blog, and most of my cognitive functions these past few weeks. This is all for good reason. 

Namely: 

1. my mom coming to Scotland 

Read: GOOD GOLLY I GOTTA CLEAN MY HOUSE!

Sorry I shouted that, but it's a real concern of mine. Because I don't want my mom to think we live the way that we live. She says she lived with me for 18 years, she already knows, but still, I like to do "fake house" for when she comes.

2. Holiday Bible Club all week long

Read: guys I love hanging out with the kids, but it leaves little time for anything else

3. Americans were visiting

The teams from Missouri and Florida were more fun than a barrel of monkeys to hang around. So yes, I choose real people over the virtual ones. Don't get me wrong though, I looovvveee our blog readers.

4. Holiday Bible Camp

Read: Planning a church camp takes a lot of work, and attention to detail. Hint: Jordan's not a detail person.

5. Moving a family of 6 over 5,000 miles away

Read: Help.

So may I please get an excused absence?

Thanks in advance.

Or "tia," like they say online nowadays. Which bothers me because I think people are going rogue speaking in Español at the end of their sentence....and then I never find out what they want to say about their dear auntie.

HOW TO Series: How to Cut a Pancake

This is a new feature on the blog called, "HOW TO Series."

Which basically means Mr. Anderson had a great idea a while back and told me I should put it on Pinterest. 

I'm not trying to knock his idea, but I just wasn't feelin' it. Until he mentioned it repeatedly every time we had pancakes the past year and a half. 

So finally I relented and got my camera out to make a tutorial.

So, without further ado:

How to Cut a Pancake

In a multi-step tutorial with way more photos than you'd ever need for comprehension.

In learning how to cut a pancake, it is helpful to start with a pancake.

I prefer to use The Pioneer Woman's recipe for perfect pancakes but any 'ol griddle cake will suffice.

Playing with a Canon

Guys, if you've been reading our blog for a while you know I have high aspirations of being a photographer.

Actually, I said that wrong;

I'd just like to be able to take decent pictures. 

I fancy myself somewhat of a creative soul. 

In reality I'm half decent at copying *some* artistic mediums but I haven't been blessed with a boatload of original creativity.

So it really torques me when I pick up a camera and the photos I take are...fair to middlin', at best, and ding-dang awful at worst.

I WANT to be able to be gifted.

I also feel like this when I get a notion and pick up Mark's guitar to start playing through my guitar songs repertoire. 

Including and limited to:

- Lord I Lift Your Name on High

- One of These Days by FFH

- Wipe Out

- the base line to Mission Impossible theme song

And then my finger tips start throbbing, I cry and moan and get frustrated that my guitar playing is just NOT progressing, and I put Mark's guitar up in the case until the next time I get it out...in November.

So I'm trying.

I'm. Trying.

To be better at photography.

Y'all are just my audience so we can reflect on my journey.

And it had better be a journey, dang it.

Patient Declined Termination of Pregnancy: Sally Pink's story

Two years ago this week our world tilted on its axis. We lived in Houston, Texas, I was 20 weeks pregnant with our 4^th child, and we had just been in to receive our anatomy ultrasound. This is the scan where the baby’s major organs are checked. We had the scan done at a special ultrasound clinic and our biggest decision that day was whether to find out the gender of the baby or not. We choose both and had the technician write the results on a yellow sticky note and I placed in my purse.

The next day Mark and I were out trying to finalize the sale of our two vehicles and had stopped to eat lunch when my obstetrician called us. I quickly stepped out of the restaurant to more clearly hear. Just in time to hear the Dr when she said, “All the measurements look good with the baby and everything looks up to date... However, the technician did find a spot in the brain. You’re going to need a level 2 scan to address this.” I felt the blood draining...I tried to ask coherent questions, tried to understand what the Dr was saying, but basically until we had the scan there was no telling what “spot on the brain meant.” This was Thursday and so we had to wait over an agonizing long weekend until Tuesday to attend the scan with a perinatologist.

That weekend I turned 31 and it was a horrible birthday, sad to say. I was consumed with worry. If you’ve never experienced it worry on this level it rips you in two. Sleep was the only respite from this disease that was eating me alive.

Cheerleading Tales from the Crypt(tic post title, I know)

My house is rather empty. Therefore it is rather tidy.
*rather*
The kids are to bed and so I thought I'd write a story.
But not just any story, it has to be funny. Because laughing is one of my all time favorite activities.
I'm not good at making up stories so this one is, regrettably, true.

Many years ago young Jordan was a cheerleader in high school. Jordan was the co-captain of the varsity squad, which sounds like an auspicious title, but I can assure you the most glamorous that title was, was it printed in fuzzy gold letters on the back of my letter jacket.

In some American high schools we have what is known as "the pep rally" which is a dang good excuse to skip 45 minutes of class. The entire school, ENTIRE school filed into the large gymnasium and sat waiting for the pep band and cheerleaders to entertain them for 45 minutes on a big game day. I'll admit now, we hadn't a clue what we were doing. We danced, did some cheers, and played silly games--really I have no memory of how we filled the rest of the 38 minutes after that. But the important part to remember was the school showed up to be entertained.

The cheerleading squad lined up across the gym to do our first dance to the cheerleading essential: Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll, Part 2" (Heck yes I had to Google that. It's a song EVERYONE can hum, but no one knows the title. Go ahead you doubters, Google it). As I take my place I notice I'm right in front of the pep band who have filled half of the lower bleachers. Then I gaze up and see an ocean of black and gold jerseys...the football team seated together. It's game day, they're dressed in their away jerseys and are highly noticeable. Also, please note they were highly noticeable to the 15 year old Jordan anyhow. They could've all been dressed like the goths that hung out in smokers alley and I could've picked 'em out of the crowd.